Ex Jobbs

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In december 2004 I will no longer work at SICS - all ex jobs previously advertised at this URL are now no longer available:

Anchovy Grinder Simulation

This ex job position is no longer vacent

snuff  grinder

We simulate the non-linear passage of anchovies through the Two stage rotary fishmeal grinder developed by BONK industries more .... The simulation is phase sensitive; initially the passage of pre-crushed Anchovies is simulated as a set of semi-rigid objects in a Newtonian ensemble. As the Anchovies pass into the grinder their small and helpless bodies are crushed at which stage they are modeled as a classical quantum gas. The phase transitions in the crusher are modeled using a parametrization of the Bernoulli-Brown-Johnson equations. Note that no live Anchovies are used in our simulations.

We would like to take the opportunity to thank our sponsors BONK induistries, and grovel before them, in the hope that they may perchance notice this and further fund our research.